The name of this award winning newsletter has been permanently changed to Archaeology - Fact or Fiction? to reflect the important contributions that have been made to the fields of Biblical and Book of Mormon Archaeology by the Editor and staff of the Intergalactic Missionary Newsletter.

In case you have forgotten our amazing archaeological discoveries, let us (with appropriate modesty) help you recall them:

• May, 1995 Close Cover Before Striking – the discovery of the Greek poet Homer's 713 BC recipe for Greek olives.
• September, 1995 The Journal of Veterinary Medicine – the discovery of the original site of the city of Jerusalem in south-central Texas, rather than in Palestine as was previously thought.
• March 1996 The Chicago Tribune – the discovery of several metal plates in Michigan containing writing linking the origin of the ancient inhabitants of the Americas to the original members of the Society of Automotive Engineers.
• June, 1996 The Wretched Mess News – while digging a pit for his neighbor, the Editor found a stone with writing on it that turned out to be one of King Benjamin's favorite recipes for roast curelom. It will be remembered that cureloms are animals mentioned in the Book of Mormon in Ether 9:19.
• July, 1996 The Book of Ruth – in this amazing issue, the Editor astonished the world with the announcement of the remarkable discovery of several gigantic gravy storage pits dug deep in the stone beneath the ancient Jewish city of Hazor. Just one of these pits could hold several thousand gallons of gravy.
• August, 1996 Floor Coverings Review – in this issue, we finally made our way into the exalted realm of serious archaeology with the discovery of Nephi's wallet in a dumpster in the town of Clovis, New Mexico. The wallet was clearly recognized as Nephi's because it contained his driver's license, a warranty card for a Liahona, and a note from someone named Laban that said: "Nephi, you're a chowderhead."
• March, 1997 Is Snobbery The Best Policy? – this issue introduced evidence that the Book of Job was written over a long weekend and was planned to be presented as a Road-Show, rather than in the book form we have now.
• May, 1997 The London Financial Times – this issue discussed the discovery of a new fragment of Dead Sea Scroll parchment proving that the literacy rate in ancient Israel was higher than in all of present Carbon County, Utah. Another article in the same issue announced the discovery of Nephi's Iron Rod in an auto salvage yard in Rexburg, Idaho.
• July, 1997 The Constitution of The United States of America – in July we announced that we had conclusively found the Foxy Lady, the ship that had carried Lehi and his band of merry sailors to the Western Hemisphere.

Anyone still holding any of the issues listed above is encouraged to call a member of the clergy or some other suitable counselor and seek professional help soon.

As November is the month when we in the United States celebrate Thanksgiving, it is appropriate that we pause to give thanks for our greatest blessing in the form of a poem. The blessing referred to of course is our skeletal system, without which we would just wiggle around on the ground.

A jokebook, known to have belonged to Nephi (Seer of Olden Times) because it was written according to the learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians, has been unearthed in a vegetable garden in Anapurna, Peru. An early effort at translation was totally unsuccessful. It wasn't until the book was turned over to the capable Editor of this Intergalactic Missionary Newsletter that its mysteries were unfolded.

It is now known to be a book of ancient Zoramite Jokes. It is well known that the Nephites liked to poke all manner of fun at the witless Zoramites among them. Nobody was more heartless in making fun of Zoramites than Nephi himself.

Close inspection of these Nephite jokes reveals remarkable similarities between Nephite ethnic humor and the "Aggie Jokes" so popular in the areas around Logan, Utah. An excellent example of Nephite rib-splitting humor is this joke, translated by the Editor of this award winning newsletter: "What do you get when you cross an Amelekite with a curelom? Answer: A Zoramite!"

This joke might seem lame to us as we have heard variations of it thousands of times, but to a Nephite it was the height of hilarity. Another joke found in the book is instructive of Nephite humor patterns: "A Zoramite went into a bar with a chicken and a lizard. The bartender yelled, 'hey, we don't allow creatures in this place!' So the chicken and the lizard made the Zoramite wait outside." 

The policy on crossdressing has been further emphasized with instructions for missionaries serving in Southern California asked to pay particular attention. Generally, the policy is that the Church discourages crossdressing by its missionaries. Elders should avoid wearing women's clothing, except where required by local ordinance or other legally passed statute. In these cases it is asked that care be taken to choose modest and tastefully cut dresses.