It is with a high degree of pride that the Editor announces a final change in the name of this paper. The new name is The Book of Ruth. We are tired of being sued by high powered lawyers every time we appropriate a name that may have been used by someone else in the past. This time we think we have hit on a name that will stick. So who owns the copyright on the Bible anyway? It might be argued that God does, but in our association with Him we have never known Him to sue anyone. Oh sure, we know we are in some danger of being hit with a plague of locusts, contracting boils, or having frogs overrun the back lawn, but we think we can handle those things. Yep, this time the name is going to stick for a while.

It has been some time now since we have run any articles featuring recipes sent in from the mission field.

The Missionary Committee has announced a change in policy relating missionary name tags. Formerly the name tag stated the name of the missionary and the name of the church. The reason they were introduced in the early 1970's was that prior to that time, missionaries were experiencing difficulty remembering what their names were and what church they were representing. In the future, a new line will be added to the bottom of the name tag stating that the missionary is supposed to be home in the apartment by 10:30 PM and requesting any investigator or other similarly involved party to stop talking to them and send them home as this time approaches. A handsome reward will be offered to anyone who finds a missionary out of his apartment after 10:30 PM and reports it to the mission president.

Elder Nathan Mathis who had been serving in the California, San Bernadino Mission has recently returned to his home and family in Plano, Texas. Elder Mathis reported his mission to his home ward on July 14th and is planning to resume school at Utah Valley State College where his has an athletic scholarship (using the words athletic and scholarship in the same sentence sounds funny doesn't it?).

In a groundbreaking study by the BYU Department of Food Sciences and Other Silly Stuff, it has been revealed that manna, the food that fed the Israelites in the wilderness for over forty years had virtually no food value. Professor Imma Jerk told this Editor that in her opinion, anyone who ate manna for over a week at a time would suffer from severe malnutrition. As a consequence of her research, scholars are looking again at the account in the Bible of the Children of Israel eating nothing but manna for forty years. She said she had her doubts that manna made up the entire diet of these nomadic Hebrews. Professor Jerk thinks they may have been dragging their manna through gravy at most of their meals. This supposition is further supported by the recent discovery of several gravy storage tanks carved deep in the stone under the ancient Hebrew city of Hazor. One of these gravy storage tanks is said to have held several hundred thousand gallons of gravy. "These folks really liked their gravy," said Professor Jerk.

The Editor of this paper has once again rocked the stuffy world of poetry on its heels by writing the following poem in just under three minutes. The three minute verse has long been the "holy grail" of poets. The last poet to even come close to breaking the three minute mark was Robert Frost who once wrote a limerick in 3 minutes, 12 seconds. The entry was thrown out of the record book, however, because of the lewd subject matter of the work.

This poem was written in honor of all missionaries who have to receive levels of inoculation that come close to constituting cruel and unusual punishment.